Some pleople likes cats, some likes dogs, and some people likes
by Twisty Emerald
Summary: A series of one-shots about the famous Okikagu. From the second chapter, they'll be a couple. Think of it as of a story about daily life, because there would be a connection between the chapters. The connection: the same "universe" and chronogical events. Ah, expect usual Gintama humor and misunderstanding, cause I love misunderstandings. And the others Gintama chracters.


Hellow. Seems like we met again! (laughs) Of course we met again, I'm the one posting here.

So, about this one new fic of mine:

***Full title: Some people likes cats, some people likes dogs, and some people... likes China monsters**

*It's a series of one-shots.

*The chapters will be more short that my first fic - I hope -.

*It's mostly about Okikagu, but I love all the Gintama characters, so espect to see a lot of them here too.

*Espect a lot of Gintama-style humor (hence the rating, ah, and Kagura's - and Sougo's - potty mouth)

*Ah, wait, that's all.

* * *

"Achou!" the Gorill – I mean the Shinsengumi commander, Kondo Isao – let out a loudly sneeze.

"Are you alright, Kondo-san?" asked the Vice-commander, Hijikata Toshirou - also knew as the Mayora.

"Yeah, no need to worry, Toshi." the Gorilla said smiling as his nose goes tarzan.

Silence.

"ALRIGHT! I want all of you to clean your rooms! If I found a speck of dust, all of you'll commit seppuku! D- Di- DISBAND! said a trembling Hijikata. The Shinsengumi members gave him weird looks.

"Hijikata-san, why should we clean our rooms when they are clean? Demanded a dead-panned voice.

"B- Be- Because some of you could be allergic at pollen. Yeah, that's it.

"But Hijibaka-san, it's already autumn."

"KORE! Who's _Hijibaka-san_? JUST GO AND CLEAN YOUR ROOMS OR COMMIT SEPPUKU!"

"Y- Yes, Sir! Saluted the already-too-frightened members as they disbanded. The last one to leave has a sandy haired boy with a extremely bored expression. He let out a loud "hmph" as he put his headphones in his ears.

"Just what's wrong with Hijibaka-san?" He asked as he entered his room. "Maybe all that mayonnaise he eat got (finally) to his brain and damaged it." Sougo smirked.

He had his hopes up that one day that disgusting thing the vice-commander eats will be banned. Just like in Smoking-Ban episode. Speaking of episodes, this situation seems to be the _The-1__st__-Division-Have-To-Clean-The-Bath_ kind. But more ridiculous.

"Guess I'm gonna whisk my clothes a little, then take a na –

"K- K- KOORE!" He could hear the vice-chief yelling at a not-so-lucky someone. It was something normal. What made the sadist curios was Hijikata's tone. It sounded… panicked?

Okita Sougo slide the door a little so he could see the scene. The Demonic Vice Chief has grabbed Yamazaki by the collar and was now shaking him violently. Nothing new. Only that Hijikata was sweating, looked panicked and his moves were awkward.

"What's up, Toshi? Why are you making such a fuss? Asked a very confused Kondo.

"K- Kondo-san?! W- What are you doing here? The Mayora asked with Yamazaki hanging unconscious in his hands.

"What do you mean "what I am doing here" ? I'm living he – Achoou!"

Hijikata starts to sweat even more. _"Now!"_

"Men! I think I cached a cold." Said Kondo as he raised his head and was about to take his hands from his nose…

"TISSUEEES!" Hijikata jumped at the Gorilla's nose with tissues in hand.

Okita slid close the door, still laughing. He already wanted to sort his clothes these days, but if some dust can make that bastard act like this, so much the better. Even though Kondo-san was the most pitiful one. He giggled imagining Hijikata flying toward Gorilla with tissues in his hands. Like a frog.

He slid the closet's door open and took each piece of cloth out. Then he took the sheets revealing a wood and well-secured chest. He smirked. Now that he thinks carefully he intended to replenish his anti-some-bastard-who-really-needs-to-die-DIE-HIJI KATA! weapons.

"So Hijibaka-san can be useful sometimes, huh? Memo useful" he mumbled as he took the chest out. He put the chest down and attend to close the doors, but a slightly yellow flash catch his eyes. Curious, he start to take out everything, wanting to reach the yellow glint. If he was lucky, that thing was something that will help to kill Hijikata – he smirked again – or a lost treasure. The second has good too, he could sold it and buy a lot of things useful with the money. Or a lot of deadly things to be exact. He could see the mysterious thing better now, it seems to be a wide thing… only a little more work… He took the closet's bottom board out and… his eyes opened wide.

"A – "

* * *

Sakata Gintoki was laying on the coach reading his Jump and picking his nose. At a moment of the day, Kagura has recorded some episode of a soap opera, but now she was laying lazily on the other coach reading a book, just like her guardian. That was the moment when the door slid open. The two made the effort to raise their heads and… Shinpachi entered with a basket full of clothes in his hands and an I'm-so-feed-up expression on his face.

"Ah, it's just you, Megane." Gintoki sent flying the snot he just picked.

"Are you waiting for someone, Gin-san?"

"Not really."

"Say, Gin-chan, what's a sling, yes?" Kagura asked looking in her book.

"A sling is something you use to catapult something." Shinpachi said as he was folding the clothes.

"To catapult? Like in bungee-jumping?

"Something like that." Gintoki got up and scratched his head.

"What is it good for, uh-huh?"

"Well you can attack someone from distance and… Shinpachi started but was interrupted by Gintoki

"And you can sling a rock at an enemy or break a pair of glasses."

"OI!"

"But Gin-chan, if you break them he will die, uh-huh." Kagura said bluntly.

"OOOOOOI!"

"Yeah, but if you glue them fast, he has a chance to survive." Gintoki stroke his chin thoughtful.

"But the chances are too low, yes. Kagura said in the same it's-a-dead-serious-matter manner.

"You two- STOP TREATING ME LIKE GLASSEEEES!" Megane yelled his lungs out.

"Boom, he blew up." Gintoki whispered to Kagura.

"He's still blowing."

"WHAT'S WITH THIS IT'S-A-DEAD-OR-LIVE-MATTER ATMOSPHERE!? Why are talking like you are some doctors who has a very bad injured patient?! How did we get here from a sling talk?! SLINGS SHOULDN'T BE LETHAL!"

"So what are them good for, huh? Kagura asked bluntly.

Silence.

"For cowards to hit the girl they like." Gintoki said straight.

"Y-Yeah." Shinpachi mumbled in a I-should-gave-up-a-long-time-ago manner.

"Ah, thanks, yes."

Kagura returned to her book, Gintoki to his Jump and Shinpachi to his laun-

"OI! Why I am the only one doing the chores?!

… to his straight-man business.

"Kagura-chan, what are you reading?" Shinpachi asked as he folded a kimono.

"Uh, this? Just a light-novel that parody some fairy tales, yes."

"Oh, I see. It must be nice."

"They don't parody only fairy tales. I caught some Gintama reference too."

"What! For real?" Gintoki exclaimed.

"Yup. I noticed a red dress like mine among some cosplay costumes. And in one scene the maid character was eating anpan with milk while stalking someone (as a request), just like that Shinsengumi Anpan-addict-guy."

"What! From all Gintama they took that guy as a reference?! Why that guy?! Why that… that…" Gintoki stopped. "… that Anpan-addict-guy-what-was-his-name-again?"

"I think he's Yamazaki-san, Gin-sa – "

Gintoki took Shinpachi by shoulders.

"Oi, Shinpachi, what are you doing?! You should act like you try your hardest to remember it! We have to show these people how insignificant that guy is! We have to make them think (high-pitched) "That guy's so useless that not even the main characters remember his name! Buahahaha, poor him"

"Gin-san, if you think like that, you'll make the readers think ill of you."

"Ha?"

"You will destroy your main character image."

"Hahahah, your funny Shinpachi-kun, it's true that he is meaningless but you don't have to be so mean. It's a no-no, Shinpachi-kun, I'll affect your character image. Hmm" Gintoki nodded with a serious expression.

"OOOI! That's what I said a second earlier! Don't push your mistakes on meee! And don't give me that clueless face!"

_BANG!_

Kagura snapped close the book, silencing the duo. She got up and placed the book on the coach.

"Mou, I'm gonna take Sadaharu on a walk. Let's go, Sadaharu! It's seems that our family forgotten that some people's Japanese isn't so good and they need silence to read."

And she bounced the door, letting the two men speechless.

However, a knocking sound will came from the very same door a few minutes after. Shinpachi let his kimonos folding and went to answer the guest. Only that the door opened before he reached to it, revealing the person who made his way to the main room.

"Danna."

"Huh?" Gintoki lift his eyes from he's Jump. "Ah, it's you, Souchirou-kun."

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"Not really, but Kagura made her exit a couple of minutes ago. I though you was her, didn't you bumped in each other?" He looked then at the boy carefully, searching for some scratches. At that moment Kagura's mood would make her attack anyone who was stupid enough to tease her even a little. And this guy was a sadist, to tease someone was his most innocent hobby. "Guess you didn't." he said to himself as he found any.

"Okita-san, did something happened?" Shinpachi asked carefully. He may not hate the bastard, but he still feared him. Okita Sougo was like a ticking bomb, you'll never know when he'll want to torture you.

"Danna, do you have some Chinese acquaintances? Sougo asked ignoring the Megane.

"Ha? Chinese?" Gin paused to think a little. "Well, there's Kagura. Why?"

"Gin-san, I assume Okita-san already thought about her. After all, he's calling her China or China girl." Shinpachi butted in the conversation.

"Megane is right. I'm not asking for someone who only dress as a Chinese, I ask for a Chinese."

"Well, I don't have any." Gintoki glued his eyes on his Jump.

"D-" Shinpachi wanted to say "Don't call me Megane!" but decided to not, _I better play safe. _he though.

"I see. Anyway, tell me if you befriend some Chinese." Sougo deadpanned and took his leave.

* * *

"I think you would have to become one to understand their way of thinking." Otae said smiling.

"I know, I can't believe it either." Oryou nodded.

She just came to the female Shimura to ask her how a stalker think. Otae eyed her confused. The answer: Oryou just got another stalker.

"I can't believe I got another annoying costumer. I though that laughing bastard was enough. " the woman sighed.

Otae nodded. They were walking from the hostess club, `cause their boss choose to give all of them a day off. She was about to go home, when Oryou called her. She has a question.

"Otae, how do you get rid of a stalker..." Oryou paused. "w-without being rude."

"Ah, that's easy" Otae smiled. "just ask them to leave alone. Tell them that stalking is a crime, just like raping or- "

"Otaaaae-san! Who raped you before mee?!" Kondou head popped from a random house's ceiling. Then he realized. "A-ah I mean, let me hug you to make you feel betteeeeer!" He made a gorilla jump and flew toward Otae with his arms wide spared...But he met Otae's female gorilla punch. With his face. He felt on the ground, nose all bloody.

"See, it's very useful."

Oryou sweat dropped.

"Nee-san." A bored voice caught the young women attention.

"Aree, Okita-san? " the woman smiled. "If you're looking for your commander, then he's right here. "

"Actually I was searching for you, Nee-san."

She opened her eyes. "Eh?"

"Nee-san, do you know some Chinese?"

"Aree, Chinese? There is Kagura-chan."

"I see. Thanks. " he waved.

A Beep-beep sound. He took out his walkie-talkie.

"Oi, Sougo did you find Kondou-san?"

He took off the walkie-talkie lid.

"Kondou-san, Hijikata-san is looking for you."

"Oi-" Hijikata started but the machine made an low sound. Sougo took out it batteries.

Then he was gone.

"At least he's good looking." Oryou said as she compared the young men with her stalker.

"But he's under this gorilla command." Otae said thoughtfully. Oryou nodded.

"Otaaae-san are you cheating on me with Sougo?!" He jumped at her with his nose going Tarzan. Otae punched him to the ground, then started to beat the shit out of him.

Oryou sweat dropped.

* * *

"You'll never catch me alive, Bakufu dogs!" Katsura started to pedal at full speed.

Okita Sougo got into a police car and drove after him.

"You'll get lined if you cross the speed line! You'll never catch me, bwahahahah! Katsura laughed with a troll face.

"I don't cross the speed line." Sougo deadpanned. He was driving parallel to Katsura.

"Eh?! How did you caught up?! I'm pedaling at full speed!"

"Oh, that's right." Sougo looking at him with dead-fish eyes. "I'll have to give you an amend at this speed."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Katsura stopped, so did Sougo. "See? I'm a good citizen, policeman-san!" Sougo looked at him deadpanned.

'Policeman?' Katsura eyebrows frowned as he though deeply. Wait, this men's a policeman... and that uniform... "Shinsengumi!" he pointed his finger at the boy. "I'm a terrorist!"

"I already knew that."

Katsura got on his bike and start pedaling again, waiting for a bazooka to be fired at him.

No bazooka.

"Eh?" Katsura pedaled back to the Shinsengumi's first division's captain. "You're not gonna run after me? Or, you know, fire a bazooka at me? I'm Katsura Kotarou, you know.

Sougo looked at him.

Katsura looked at Sougo.

~Awkward silence~

"Is something there that bothers you? You know, like, young love? Or bazooka love?"

"Oi, Sougo! Did you caught Katsur-" the walkie-talkie got silent as Sougo took out the batteries.

"Oi! Don't take out the batteries when you wan-" Sougo took out the batteries.

"May I ask a question." The young man said.

"Sure! Ask uncle Katsura!" Zura tapped the boy's shoulder.

"Do you have some Chinese acquaintance?"

"Eh? Chinese." Katsura though a little. "Ah, there is Leader!"

Sougo's face lighted. "Can you tell me where I can find him?"

"Sure! Leader's a little girl all dressed in red, a acquaintance of Gintoki."

"Ah, I see." Okita deadpanned.

"Well then, see ya." Katsura got on his bike.

_This guy isn't that bad, maybe I can recruit him._ Zura smiled to himself.

Then he heard a click. He turned back and... BOOM!

* * *

"I wonder what's up with Okita-san..." Shinpachi mumbled as he took a piece of crab with his chopsticks. It was noon.

Otae and Kagura-chan was eating the claws as Gintoki was sniffing chewing on his miserable share. So much for the main character. But he couldn't put it up with an amazon _and _a gluttonous monster.

"Aree, did something happened with Okita-san?" Otae asked as today strange event played in front of her eyes.

"Yeah, he came today and asked us if we have some Chinese acquaintance."

"Eh?" Kagura stopped from sucking the meat.

"Eh?" Otae looked at him surprised. "He came at you too?!"

Kagura looked at her confused.

"Yeah, now that I though about it, it's strange." Gintoki said thoughtfully.

Kagura looked at him confused.

"What did you answered, Ane-ue?" Shinpachi asked.

Kagura looked at him confused.

"I told him about Kagura-chan."

Kagura looked at her confused.

"Me too." Gintoki and Shinpachi said at unison.

Kagura looked at them confused.

"So did I." Kyuubei said as she entered.

Kaguura looked at her confused.

"Yeah, me too." Sacchan said, hugging out from the ceiling.

Kagura looked at her confused.

"I mean why would he need a Chinese?" Gintoki asked as he kicked Sacchan off.

"Eh? He asked you too?" An afro-haired and grey Katsura asked.

Kagura looked at him confused.

"Oi, Zura! Don't come here when you want!" Gintoki shouted annoyed. "What did you answered?"

"Leader is the only Chinese I know."

"Well, Kagura-chan is not really a Chine-"

"Can I pretend that he asked me too?" A gloomy Hasegawa asked. "I want to enjoy the hotpot~ I told him about Kagura-chan too~" he said, his glasses looking like two black holes.

He took a seat between Otae and Sacchan.

"Otae-saan! Come into my arms, Otae-san! That men look dangero-" Otae grabbed his face and snapped him into Hasegawa. "My, my, so much dangerous men are here." She smiled her trademark smile.

"Aaah, Gin-san! There are a dangerous man and a stalker here!" Sacchan jumped at Gintoki.

"You're a stalker too!" Gintoki send the ninjas flying, a vein popping on his forehead.

"Otae-san, quick! Hide into my yukata!" Kondou screamed.

"No, thank you." Otae said shoving a spear up his ass.

"Gin-san, hit me moore, Gin-san! Yes, Gin-san, right there... aah!" Sacchan screamed, clinging on Gin-chan arm.

"Don't make this look like a sex scene, you moron! This is a T rated fanfiction, not a M one!" Gintoki tried to get rid of her.

"Waaaka, you have't done something dirty with that meeen, right?" Yuma asked Kyuubei.

She punched him.

"Wear this to purify yourself!" He handed her a goth-Lolita dress.

Kyuubei burned it.

"Ah, it seems they started without us." Otose said entering.

"Gintoki-sama, what does "sex" means? How do you make it?" Tama asked with her robotic voice.

"See, Otose-san, I told you we should take this level from them and make another bar." Catherine made a "hmph" sound.

"Shut up, you poor excuse of a nekomimi character, yes!" Kagura mocked her and they started to fight. Otose kicked both of them in the head.

Someone was writing on a paper with a serious face.

"Anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan..." then he spotted Tama-san. "Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san,Tama-san,Tama-san,Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san, Tama-san..."

"Kuree!" Hijikata hit him with a rolled paper. "Do your job, don't stalk Tama!"

"Oogushi-kun, I'm pretty sure your skipping job too." Drunk Gintoki mocked Hijikata.

"Kuree! I'm not skipping job! That Sougo bastard and this one are skipping work. And I don't want to be told by a drunk perm-head!"

"Souchirou-kun was born to skip work." Gintoki said with a drunk ton. "And don't call me perm-head, you dog shit eater!"

"Oi! Don't insult mayonnaise!" He crushed his forehead on Gintoki's one. "Do you wanna fight, kuree?!"

"Yeah, let's settle it. Now or never!" Gintoki took something from the table.

"Fine by me!" So did Hijikata.

They gulped down the liquid in a one-shot.

"Haah" They both sighed and put the cups down.

"Don't settle things with a drinking contest!" Shinpachi shouted exasperated.

He was losing precious tsukkomi employee. Someone have to do the tsukkomi work and he didn't wanted to be all alone.

Kagura gulped down all the food after that ugly cat collapsed. No, she didn't hit her, Catherine blacked out because she drunk to much. She wouldn't hit that ugly-face cat, she wasn't a monster - unlike what a certain sadist say - and that reminded her, why would he search a Chinese when she was right in front of his eyes? I mean, yeah she definitely wasn't Chinese ( she was an amanto, after all) but she knew a lot about the Chinese culture.

She stretched her chopsticks in the bowl. And grabbed nothing. "Eh?" The bowl was empty. She looked around. What she saw was:

A Catherine - collapsed.

A Gin-chan and a Mayora - drunk. Playing ja-ken-pon with Sadaharu.

A Sadaharu- biting Mayora and Gin-chan.

An Anego- shoving something up Gorilla's ass.

A Gorilla- hanging from the ceiling. Butt naked.

A Tsukki- drunk. Arguing with Sacchan.

A Sacchan- Flying. Land on Anpan.

Yamazaki – writing Tama's name. Anpan got crushed by flying ninja – "Anpan." Starts to write "TamAnpan."

An Otose- flirting with Shinpachi.

A Shinpachi- freaked out. Trying to protect his virginity.

A Zura- costumed in Captain Katsura. Tries to make Anpan-freak join Joui.

"Gintama is full of weirdos, yes." She sighed and took a fried chicken _Gulp_ and it was gone.

So did the food. All the food.

Kagura took her parasol from the ground. Was she the only one normal here?

"Sadaharu!"

The dog looked and her then turned back at his chewing on Mayora's head.

Mayora – bleeds.

Gin-chan – laughs. *Get hit in the stomach.*

Gin-chan – barfing.

Mayora – laughing.

Sadaharu – tingling the bite.

Mayora – collaps.

"I see, you're busy, yes." Kagura said to the dog. Sadaharu barked.

"Tsukki, I'm going to take a walk!" she told her because:

Shinpachi – collapsed.

Otose – drunk.

Tama – stuffs anpan in Anpan-freak's mouth.

So Tsukki was the only one she could tell.

The woman looked at her and nodded drunkenly.

That's what she needed. She nodded too and in the next second she was gone.

* * *

_Why does everyone look so relaxed? Why was Gin-chan and Mayora drunk? Why was Tsukki and Anego drunk? Sadist asked something strange, yes, but he was strange anyway._ I mean, someone who plans your funeral or _eats_ the soul of a cursed sword was definitely strange. But what bothered her was...

"Oi, China." she turned toward the voice she knew so well. I mean you got to know really well the voice that make you want to break the possessor's neck.

"What do you want?" She asked coldly. She couldn't get it, really. It was impossible for her to get it. Did he had cereals instead of brains under that sandy hair of his? Or perhaps it was composed from sand and that the reason his hair has that color?

Or maybe the base was sand and actually his hair was white and it reflected the skin (sand)'s color, like in polar bears case. Wait, the last one was wrong somewhere.

"Oi, China, do you have some Chinese friends?" he deadpanned.

Silence.

It got on her nerves. I mean was he that stupid? Being a progidy and the best swordsman of Shinsengumi was all a facade? Did his brain even worked correctly?

"Oi, China-"

"I don't get it..." she mumbled as her mood darkened.

"Huh?" he rose an eyebrow.

Really why? Why it bothered her so much? Well, it's normal to be bothered by it, but why so much?

"What's your problem, China?"

Again. That word. Wasn't it obvious?

"Oi, Earth to gluttonous monster. Answer gluttonous monster." he waved a hand to her face.

It was so obvious that it hurts. Gin-chan, Shinpachi (together, but still!), Anego, Zura, Kyuubei, even the natto-ninja stalker! The natto-ninja stalker! Did these two even met before? She couldn't remember.

"Oi, China, are you deaf, China?" He waved a hand at her. "Or are you blind? Or-"

"Why didn't you asked me, yes? It's obvious I would knew much more that Gin-chan or Megane. Or ninja stalker! Why did you asked her? Are you stupid? Wait don't answer that one, 'cause I already know the answer, yes!"

"You sounded like a wife who caught her husband cheating on her. I don't remember marring you, China." He said with dead-fish eyes.

"S-shut up!" She doesn't knew why it confused her so much. Really, why? "Answer my question!"

"But jealous-gluttonous-monster-wife," she glared at him "what is your question?"

"Are deaf? Why didn't you asked me first!"

"Ask what?"

"If I can help you."

"With?" Then he rose an eyebrow. "Do you want to help me that bad, China?"

That word again.

"Why are you asking the other if they have Chinese friends when you call me "China"? Why?"

"Because your not an authentic Chinese. "

That was true.

"But why do you need an authentic Chinese, huh?"

Now she was curious.

"Because there is a chance him or her would have a better Chinese culture that mine."

"I knew a lot about the culture and the traduction, yes!"

"You mean "tradition", you illiterate monster." She tried to punch his face. He dodged the punch.

"Fine, tradition! But traduction is good too, yes!"

"No, that one is definitely wrong. " he looked at her with empty eyes.

"Anyway. It doesn't matter I didn't born in China. I know a lot about the Chinese traducti – tradition, yes."

"You were about to say "traduction" just now."

She blushed.

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were."

"I wasn't, don't contradict me, you bastard! "

"Then what? You aren't expecting me to felicity you, aren't you, China?"

"Of course not! A mistake is a mistake. " she potted.

"You just admitted that you spelled wrong."

"Good childrens learn from their mistakes, yes! That's what Gin-chan told me."

"Wow, China."

She nodded proudly.

"I think this is the first time Danna told you something right."

She glared at him first, then she blinked.

"I guess you're right this time." She said thoughtfully.

"Anyway," she cleared her throat. "Hm? " "Why do you want my precious knowledge of Chinese vulture? "

He looked at her bored. "It's culture, China. Get the words right because you're hurting the readers's eyes with your poor grammar. Like this author."

"My grammar is for an amanto, yes!" She averted her eyes. "And you just mocked the author! The author! Are you crazy? Do you have a dead-wish, Sadist? Wanna have a painful dea-"

She stopped.

"Really, we need Megane." She put her hand at her month in a V-shape. "Oi, Shinpachi! Jump from wherever you are and come and do you job!"

Sougo looked at the clock.

"Mah, looks like my break is over." He waved a hand lazily. "See you around, China."

_Cling_. That word.

"Wait! Tell me about the Chinese... thing!" She tried to avoid the problematic words.

"Hm?" He turned to face her and eyed her from head to toe with a bored look on his face. "I guess you're good too." he deadpanned.

"Huh?"

And before she could ask anything else, he throw something at her. She caught it, it was a reflex.

"What's this?" She looked at the package. It was light and it looked like someone packed it in a hurry 'cause it has a ugly coffee-colored wrapper almost fully covered in scotch.

She eyed him confused.

"Geez, China. Just open it." he said exasperated by her cluelessness.

She flinched and started to unpack it merciless. "What is this?" She asked as her fingers touched something silky and soft.

"Didn't you said you have culture, China?"

Her eyes wide opened in disbelief. "No way!" She caressed the soft fabric, looking amazed at the fabric.

"I guess it's expensive." Sougo said at her reactions.

"Yes, it is." She said still absent-minded. It really was expensive. "And really rare." Natural silk, that's what it was. A roll of natural silk with floral Chinese style models. The fabric was smooth and soft. And it got warmer in her hands. The material was a bright yellow silk with specific golden, blue and red models. It gave the feeling of royalty. It's beauty vibrates without a human to wear it, she could feel it and was amazed by it. If they would go back in time – with Gin-chan's time machine – she was pretty sure she would find a similar roll in a noble's magazine. Because yellow was the color only those rich were allowed to wear. And the royal family. The color of royalty.

"Sadist, from where do you have it?"

He's looked at her for a long time before he spoke again.

"My sister bought it when she came for the first time in Edo. She forgot it here."

Kagura blinked. Sadist have a sister? Ah, now that she thought of it, Gin-chan told her something.

"Then why don't you return it to her, yes?"

He's eyebrow frowned. Was she joking or something? He looked at her. Her eyes were reflecting pure curiosity. Was she for real?

He chuckled.

She looked at him confused.

"Really, China? Really? I suspected that you are a sadist but not like this." he said it in a way that she couldn't read any emotion.

"Eh?" Kagura looked at him carefully but he wouldn't let his emotion get past his mask. He was different from her, more secretive. Unforeseeable.

Maybe even scary.

He looked at her and she was able to read something: sarcasm. His eyes were shining with sarcasm and he was smirking in a forced way.

"Come on, China, don't play innocent, I'm pretty sure Danna told you."

"Yes, he told me you have a sister. What's wrong with that?"

_"Have" so he didn't told her all the story._

"I _had_ a sister, China." he said preying she'll get the subtlety. It hurt him to say that she's d...de... dea-gone.

"And? I already know that, yes." she said bluntly.

Seems like he did to much bad things for God to listen to his preys.

He sighed. "I had a sister, China. "

She blinked.

Silence. He gulped.

"I know, Gin-chan told me already, yes. Are you deaf, Sadist?"

He grinded his teeth.

"I **had** a sister! Had! Past! With italics, underline and bold! Get it already, you ugly- China-pig-clandestine-bitch!" He shouted as the "d" word keep on flying in front of his eyes. With his sister death, her words playing in his mind. Then her grave, with two posy under it. The next day he visit it, there were three.

He blinked. Eh? He didn't got hit? He was sure he insulted her badly, he should be in hospital by now.

He looked at her and it surprised him that he couldn't find a certain emotion playing on her face. He found sadness, sorrow, then grief, realization and maybe a little glint of guilt. But he didn't find one: pity. He found understatement, but not the poor-kid,-he-lost-his-mother type actually she was looking at him like at an equal, like she knew the feeling...

_Eh?_ He looked at her closely. Now that he was more close, he could see that she wasn't sad because of what she learned. Actually her sorrow was more deep and intimate. Like she knew the feeling. Like his words awoke a painful memory in her head that she couldn't suppress. But what memory? _Did Danna died in these few hours? Or Megane? Or Nee-san?_

"Oi, China-"

_Crack!_

He saw her kick too late and so, he's leg took the damage. Again.

"Itaaai!" He started to jump in one foot, holding his blessed leg up with his arm. "Why you...?!"

"Never call me a monster, you Sadist bastard! She yelled at him. Wait, she wasn't angry because he called her a bitch but she got angry for being called a monster?

"Then don't call me a bastard, you bitch." He said. _Do I have a dead wish?_

"Fine, you lazy-ass sadist bastard!"

"Then it's a deal, you dirty-mouthed monster!"

"Deal!" They both turned a 180 degree, each of them heading to their own home.

"Ah, and Sadist?" she called now that the atmosphere cooled.

"What?" He turned toward her lazily.

And there she was, standing in front of his face, holding tightly the dark-beige package he gave her. The sunshine light was falling on her, brightening her vermilion hair and blue eyes. Her pale skin too got a reddish shade. And so did her cheongsam.

"Thanks, Sadist. For the fabric." She said and showed him a genuine smile, full of white teeth.

He blinked.

"Sure, whatever," he deadpanned. "I only gave it to you because my sister always keep on saying that it would be a waste to not use it." He chuckled. "But she always forgot about it."

"Doesn't matter, I thanked you because you gave it to _me_." She said seriously. _Did she like it that much?_ Also, I start to like your sister."

He looked down at his feet.

"What's the matter, China?" He said nonchalantly, hoping that she haven't noticed his change of emotion. "You are so broke that you can't buy yourself some fabric?"

But when he rose his head, he noticed that she was gone.

_Tch, she left before she could here my punch line._

He sighed.

"I start to think I was a little OOC today. " he mumbled. _I mean, why did I gave it to China?_

* * *

Omake:

Gintoki was reading Jump and drinking some strawberry milk when Kagura's head popped from the bathroom.

"Say, Gin-chan." she said softly.

"Hm? What?" He said without taking his eyes from Jump.

He took a gulp of strawberry milk.

"What does_ bitch_ means?" Kagura asked bluntly.

Gin-chan choked with his beloved milk.

"K-Ka-Ka-Kagura-chan, d-don't use that word when Baldy visit you, o-okay?"

"Sure, yes!"

He sighed.

"Good, now, where did you heard it?" He asked.

"That's what you should have asked first! Be more concerned about Kagura's language!" Shinpachi shouted at Gintoki. "Kagura-chan, it's not good to use that word. No one should be called like that." He said motherly.

Kagura frowned.

"But what it means, uh-huh?"

Silence.

* * *

The sling thing is a reference to Ookami-san to Shichinin no Nakamatachi, because I LOVE that anime/ light novel (no translate, sniff, sniff). And come on, that anpan thing was such an obvious Gintama reference! I _had_ to do that, really.

* * *

W-well, w-what d-do y-you t-t-think?

Alright, no more joking. But really now. I mean really, really.

I should shut up... See ya'!


End file.
